Every week I enjoy my guilty pleasures, like millions of others, when I turn on the tv to see the drama unfold on the Bachelor series. This show was great for the single gal. It made me feel less crappy about not dating since there is always drama and heartbreak. They travel to exotic locations and have the best adventures. But on one episode, something special happened. Season 15, Brad Womack on his fantasy dates, travelled to South Africa. I love safari (went once in 2009) so this was super exciting for me. On the screen I see the pair walking through the African bush only to arrive at a treehouse. In Africa. An actual grown up kid kind of treehouse!
I had never seen anything so magical before. Immersed in the heart of the African bush, surrounded by trees, wildlife, smells and sounds of nature. All while being wrapped in a blanket of stars at nightfall. No connection to the outside world, all the while being completely connected in a bigger, more powerful way. I was speechless and in awe.
At the shows end, I scrolled the credits to find out the location of this mystery magical spot. It was Lion Sands Game Reserve in South Africa. I went online, googled the game reserve, and found the treehouses (they had 2 at that lodge). I investigated the price and realised there were perks to being rich, and this was one of them. Unfortunately I was a single gal with a mortgage and only a small savings compared to those treehouse dwelling people. I either need a new career or rich husband if this is ever going to happen. This place was way out of reach. But out of reach does not mean I cannot do it. It means I need to stretch a little more than I am able to today. I decided to add it to the top of the bucket list, ‘like’ the reserve on Facebook, and went on with my life. Over the months I followed the adventures of Scotia, the territorial female leopard, and the Southern Pride of Lions, with the lioness Floppy Ear, spoken of often in posts.
Around this time I had recently changed jobs and companies. In many ways it seemed like a good move. Better hours of work, closer to home, more money, more benefits. But over the next 2 years I found my stress level rising. I had no social interactions everyday as I had been used to with my previous job. I was just so unfulfilled. I remember seeing a post on facebook from Lion Sands Game Reserve saying they were looking for field guide ranger trainees. I recall thinking ‘I wish I could do something like that!’ because Safari Guide is only the best job I could imagine! But, I knew there was no way I could. First of all I am Canadian – not African. I am a middle aged woman. I have a job, a home, and a million other roadblocks. This just made me feel worse about my situation. It’s funny how make ourselves victims of the circumstances that we created by making the choices that we have? That is very powerful – I suggest reading it again. The minute we stop being that victim is the moment we empower ourselves to make more choices and decisions – because, lets face it – We are grown up and no one can tell us what to do. (Also very powerful if you have been living under the impression that you are who you are because someone expects you to be exactly that).
I became aware of an online seminar that was happening the next day where the author Neale Donald Walsch was speaking. I had a couple of his books, which in the past, were very valuable to me, helping guide me through the tougher times in my life. I had been reading one recently called “The Only Things that Matters”. He makes a statement on the first page of dialogue in that book that states “98% of the worlds people are spending 98% of their time on things that don’t matter”. That was me. I decided I needed all the help I could get, so I tuned in.
Neale said, as in previous books, how important it was to know who you are. Well, I spent years figuring that out – so far so good. What he said next changed everything. (Write this one down for future reminding). Neale said knowing who you are is not enough if you are not living who you are every single day. Read that again – Knowing who you are is not enough if you are not living who you are every single day. Mic drop!!! He got me! I absolutely was not living who I was. All the values and characteristics of who I knew myself to be were tucked and hidden away. He was right. If I was not living these values, how could I be identifying with them? Its like saying you are honest but you never speak the truth. It is saying you are kind, but never make opportunities to show kindness. I seen myself as a leader, but I had no team to lead. I believed I was inspiring, but my daily life was nothing short of dull and boring. I thought I was a conservationist, but I lacked all connection to Mother Earth. In that moment I gave my self permission to be who I am in my core.
I immediately opened my facebook and void of hesitation I sent an email to the game reserve that made that post for field guide trainees. I had to do it while I was empowered by Neale before I lost my nerve. I knew they would likely tell me to take a hike. But why shouldn’t I let them tell me that? Up until this moment, I was prepared to reject myself on their behalf. I think we all tell ourselves no for others, far too often, rather than ask the question, giving them the option to answer themselves. I think we all have moments where we hesitated and didn’t ask someone out on a date out of fear of rejection, or apply for a job we didn’t think we would get, or take a risk for fear of failure. That day, I stepped out of my comfort zone.
So, I sent the email inquiring about the training course. Later that day, they wrote me back. They were not concerned with my age, gender, or location. They were only concerned that with me being 24 hours away by plane that it might not be convenient for me to fly out for an interview so skype might be our best option. Mind = blown. They sent me the most unusual application I have ever seen in my life. One question was to name the 7 dwarfs. Another was asking who was the first man on the moon. I answered all their questions the best I knew how, of course with my own special twist. For instance, ‘Why would I name the 7 dwarfs when they already have perfectly good names?’. They did have very good interpersonal questions on the extensive questionnaire, so they were not all strange. But they had their reasons for what they asked, so I played along. Overall, things were looking good. I packed up, moved out of my house, and waited for the cue to head out. Shortly thereafter I was notified that they were many changes occurring to the training program. It would no longer be at Lion Sands Game Reserve. They were building NJ More Field Guide College in Marataba Game Reserve. This made a bigger and better program that would be extended into a 12 month program instead the original 6 months. But all in African time… so ‘just now’ (slang for not now, and not sure when, but eventually, maybe).
Many months later, I was still shacked up in my parents spare room, with my house rented to an American family on a temporary work permit. Rather than get discouraged, I decided to celebrate the fact that I was still working, being paid USD for my home which was 100% savings, and still waiting for the dream. In fact, it was also a blessing as during all the delays, I was able to double my savings and make this move from 6 months to 12 months an easy, worry free one. And I really enjoyed spending this time with my parents. We were already very close, but it was fun developing ‘the routine’ where we meet for reality tv night and pause over commercials to discuss the shows drama. Moms cooking was also a real treat.
There were changes, postponements, and uncertainty. After 6 months at mom and dads, I finally had my skype interview where I first met, Stephanie. She spoke with a thick German accent and had an energy about her and enthusiasm that I couldn’t help but be drawn to. She was a trained safari guide and would be the new camp manager over at NJ More. She welcomed me to the program if I wanted to still go. Considering I up and quit my job 2 days earlier (with notice of course), it was a no brainer. I spend the next three months packing, getting my student visa, and doing my best to forget everything my last job ever taught me. Brain purge! I needed to free up some space.
In July, while my family was at a wedding out of town, I boarded a plane and moved to South Africa. With my house rented out – now to a Scottish family moving to Canada, camera and clothes in tow, I moved to a Big 5 game reserve. I was living in a canvas tent and started my educational training to be a certified Safari guide.
I got my Advanced Rifle Handling, my Level 3 tracker, Level 1 Field Guide, and completed the 30 day trails guide course. We studied birds of South Africa, where I learnt over 90 bird calls and 150 to visually identify. Other modules included Animal behaviour, mammals, reptiles, amphibians, geography, climate, photography, astronomy, wilderness first aid, and countless others. Life at camp was unlike anything I had ever imagined. Surrounded by warthogs while I study, the bush baby that crossed my deck every day at dusk, or the elephants swimming in the river, there was nothing normal about my life. Strangely though, it was the most normal I have ever felt. My headaches stopped, stress was gone, back pain disappeared. I was a different person. I was living who I knew myself to be, every day, just like the author said. I stepped out of the box. I broke the mould. The crazy part of all of this is I never once questioned if I should. I never made a pro and con list. I just knew I would if they would let me I would go. Its the one time in my life I listened to my gut 100%. Wow. So worth it.
After 6 months of the educational aspect, I was relocated to a functioning lodge where I would place for 6 months to learn how the lodge functions, see guides in action, and experience some of the most amazing moments nature has to offer. I was sent to Lion Sands Game Reserve. This is the location where Brad stayed in Season 15 of the Bachelor. Because it was Lion Sands that brought me to Africa, they decided it was the right choice for me. I had countless sightings of Scotia leopard that I already knew so much about, and many moments with the Southern Pride of Lions. The close encounters made possible at this location were almost inconceivable. There is nowhere else like the Sabi Sands.
One task I did occasionally was drive some lucky guests to the middle of nowhere at sunset to deliver them to experience the tree houses. Here I was, years later, standing in the very spot that lured me in during that episode of the bachelor. It was so surreal. I could hardly wrap my mind around it. The staff would tell me stories about that episode, and according to housekeeping, one person may have appeared to sleep on the sofa. I can not confirm nor deny – but insider information is always fun.
The prep to stay in one of these involves many staff from housekeeping and the kitchen and many hours of work. Everything gets hauled out and set up every time. So, when a guest arrives, the lanterns light the path, their favourite drink is on ice, and dinner is waiting. It is simply divine. Timing is critical as you do not want to leave these unoccupied too long when they are fully dressed. There are baboons and they have broken in before (and it is all hands on deck emergency clean up!). So, you can imagine the disappointment if ever a tree house is cancelled after being set up. In fact, this happened once during my stay there.
With the Kingston tree house prepared, a couple decided at the last minute that they didn’t want the outdoor adventure after all. With all the work already done, it is a shame to let all that go to waste. So, it was offered to staff at an affordable price. Because they live there, and money is precious, it was not enough to attract any takers. Well any except me. I was the only person to raise their hand in interest to stay in this tree house. This was it! This was the moment that most unattainable bucket list item I have ever had got fulfilled in spite of not having the money or means to afford it. The Universe heard me. I had literally orchestrated a sequence of events in my life from an idea I got watching The Bachelor. I decided to offer the experience to a fellow guide to join me, as I knew she would also appreciate the grandness of this gesture. For one night, we got to live as the rich and famous. It was divine.
The lessons:
What I learned through this experience is that there is NOTHING that shouldn’t be on your bucket list if you want it there. You will never have what you never ask for. If you believe it impossible, it will be.
Sometimes our life is changing when we are thinking it never does. Sometimes change does not look the way we think it will. And often when the answers to our questions are not as we visioned, we must consider how specific that question actually was. The Universe works in her own way, in her own time.
Sometimes in those quiet moments, when we think nothing in our lives ever happens or changes, the Universe is orchestrating a plan in the background. If we are too concerned with the obvious, tangible issues in our life, we might miss the subtle, life altering messages that are being delivered. If I had continued with the monotonous day to day and didn’t decide I needed more, I would have missed the message.
We need to stop telling ourselves NO on behalf of others out of fear of rejection. For when we say no for them, its certain rejection 100% of the time. The odds are, if we just ask, we won’t hear ‘no’ all of the time. We just need to let others decide for themselves. We need to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there. We must stop fearing rejection just as much as fearing acceptance. Sometimes we don’t ask because yes is more frightening than no. But that is limiting and hinders our growth. Being uncomfortable can be the best feeling in the world. No one leaves this earth thinking I lived too much, tried too many things, or made too many memories.
On safari 11 years ago I identified my dream job. A couple years later, watching that show, a seed was planted in my mind as a life changing experience secretly began to develop. It took 2 more years to resurface in an indirect form. It took an extra boost from an intuitive author to make me notice the opportunity. It took vulnerability to make it an option. It took passion and courage to make me live it out. It was the one time in my life I was utterly fearless.
5 years after my return from South Africa, I am ready again to revisit the lessons I learned all those years ago. I am ready to share my story and experiences through my photography and writing about my adventures. I am ready to start living who I am every single day again while paying attention to the hidden agendas of the Universe. I want to be that whispering voice that encourages someone to follow their dream and check that next item off their bucket list. I want to first be the messenger that plants the seed of possibility. I then want to be the conductor who aligns all the dreams and aspirations of hopefuls just as I once was. I want to be the person who shows other single gals that they don’t need the key to the fantasy suite to make their dreams come true. I want to be the creator of the first Solo Gal Safari. That is my next adventure. Care to join me?